


keep me company

by aspiringwordsmith



Series: cool in college [1]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Developing Relationship, Fluff, Homesickness, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pre-Relationship, college roommates jeremy & michael, i may do another work(s) in this verse and write their getting together :0c we'll see, listen it's Very Little Angst and a Whole Lot of Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-21
Updated: 2017-09-21
Packaged: 2019-01-03 18:33:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12152406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aspiringwordsmith/pseuds/aspiringwordsmith
Summary: After years of waiting to be ~cool in college~, Michael finds himself missing home and high school. Jeremy helps.





	keep me company

**Author's Note:**

> This is set about a week into the boys’ freshman year of college. I just wanted a thoughtful Jeremy comforting a homesick Michael, and so I wrote that and here it is. I’ve seen some folks write Michael with two moms so I’m jumping on that bandwagon;; the moms are my wife and I and we love and miss our son very much.
> 
> Find me on tumblr at [boffinsandbeasties](https://boffinsandbeasties.tumblr.com).

Jeremy liked Shakespeare. The guy was undeniably a genius. Christine was prone to going off on long tangents about him -- about his permanent relevance and his archetypal characters and his role in shaping the English language as we know it and, you know, stuff like that. And Jeremy totally agreed. He totally got it. He was totally on board. Toootally. **  
**

But. But did everything he wrote have to be so  _dense_?

He’d been on act one, scene three, line 50 for...ten minutes? Maybe more? His eyes kept scanning the words, but his brain refused to process them, and there were so. Many. Words.

He stretched and glanced at the space invaders clock on his desk. Fuck. It was past midnight. Maybe scene three could wait until tomorrow. Shakespeare was so much better in performance than in his little Folger’s book. He turned to tell Michael as much, but paused at the look on his friend’s face.

Michael was sitting cross-legged on his bed, and his hands were shaking slightly where they hovered above his laptop keyboard. He was staring out past his screen at the wall above Jeremy’s bed, eyes unfocused, and he looked nothing short of miserable.

“Michael?” Jeremy asked before he could stop himself. Michael started, glanced in his direction, and then looked away quickly. Something about his face looked...fragile. “Are you okay?”

“Uh, yeah,” Michael said. Cleared his throat. “I’m-- I’m good.” He hunched over his laptop as if suddenly engrossed in something on the screen.

Jeremy wasn’t convinced. “You sure, dude? Is there--”

“I’m fine, Jeremy,” Michael snapped, voice thick. “Just finish your homework.”

Jeremy turned slowly back to his play. Read line 50 without understanding it. Read it again. Was Michael mad at him? Had he done something to upset him without realizing it? He replayed the day’s events in his mind. Michael had still been asleep when Jeremy left for his 8 am, and he’d seemed happy enough when they met up at the dining hall for lunch. Had Jeremy said something then? Or was this something else -- something worse? Was being his roommate too much for Michael? Was his friend finally sick of him?

He forced himself to take a deep breath. No, Michael probably wasn’t sick of him. This was just new; spending this much time together would take some getting used to. Better to ask him, though, before he got himself more worked up about it. Jeremy turned around again.

“If it’s something I said, o-or did, I’m sor--”

“What? No,” Michael interrupted, shaking his head. “No, it’s not -- you didn’t do anything wrong, Jere, I’m just...” He closed his laptop and set it on the bed next to him, then put his head in his hands. He gave a short laugh: one self-conscious huff of air. “It’s stupid.”

Jeremy rose from his desk chair and crossed the room to sit next to Michael. “I’m sure it’s not stupid, dude,” he said sincerely, eyes on his legs where they hung over the side of the bed.

Michael lifted his head to glance sidelong at his roommate, then heaved a sigh. “I just -- fuck,” he broke off, hands sliding up under his glasses to wipe at his eyes. And then, in a very small voice: “I miss my moms.”

“Oh,” said Jeremy softly, a little surprised. “Oh, hey, that’s--”

It seemed the admission had broken Michael’s stony facade entirely. He gave a choked sob, wiping a hand over the two fat tears suddenly streaking down his face. Embarrassed, he made to turn away, but Jeremy was on him in a second, crawling completely onto the bed and pulling him into a tight embrace.

Michael sat frozen for a moment but soon sank into the hug, burying his face in Jeremy’s shoulder and letting out a shaky breath. Jeremy held him close, doing his best to rub a soothing hand over the other boy’s back while also processing his surprise. Michael had seemed to be handling the transition to college better than anyone Jeremy knew. He’d never shown even a hint of doubt, but maybe he was having a harder time than Jeremy realized.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, neither really wanting to let go. When he felt Michael’s breathing start to even out, Jeremy spoke. “Michael...that’s not stupid at all.”

“Except it is, though,” Michael said, frustrated. He dropped his hands from their place on Jeremy’s back and flung them out in exasperation. Reluctantly, Jeremy pulled away. “Because I just saw them last week, and they’re both always working anyway, and because we’re only like two hours away from home and it’s not a big deal and it’s not like  _you’re_ freaking out--”

“Hey,” Jeremy interrupted. “Hey, hey, it  _is_  a big deal, okay? It’s a lot of new stuff all at once and I’m  _totally_  freaking out, like, 24/7. You’re just used to it.”

“That’s another thing, though,” Michael lamented, his voice a little rough. “I’m  _used_  to you. I’ve got the comfort of my best friend as my roommate and I  _still_ can’t handle this. What if I’d been Christine, studying halfway across the world, not knowing  _anybody_?”

“You can’t compare yourself to Christine. She’s, like, superhuman.” Jeremy argued. That earned him a weak chuckle. “But you know that goes both ways, right? Like, I wouldn’t be handling this shit half as well if you weren’t here.”

“Yeah, you would,” said Michael miserably. “You’ve been ready for this for years, dude, ready to finally get the hell out of high school. And I thought I was, too, but now I kind of...miss it? Ugh.” He flung himself backwards onto the bed, stretching out against the wall. Not sure where else to go, Jeremy laid down alongside him. Michael scrubbed a hand over his face. “Is that crazy? That’s crazy, right?”

Jeremy shook his head. “No, it isn’t,” he said, trying to sound reassuring. “I miss it too.”  
  
Michael raised an eyebrow. “Seriously?”

Jeremy shrugged. “Well, I mean, I don’t miss  _all_  of it. I don’t miss waking up at ass o’clock in the morning, I don’t miss O'brien's chemistry lectures, I don’t miss being weird and sweaty and how everyone knew everything about everyone else--”

“You’re still kinda weird and sweaty, Jerm,” Michael pointed out.

“Yeah, but the whole school doesn’t know that yet,” Jeremy countered. “But there are definitely things I miss. I miss our friends. I miss play rehearsal,” he said, counting things off on his fingers. “I miss not feeling like I have to figure out what to do with my life right this second. I miss the days Rich would show up at your house with a baggie of weed and a terrible movie, or when Jenna and Chloe would kidnap us all to go shopping, or when Jake would have us all over his place...” Jeremy trailed off. Swallowed hard against a lump in his throat.

Michael was smiling a little. He wasn’t really looking at Jeremy, despite the fact that they were pretty much face to face. “Do you miss your dad?”

“‘Course I do,” said Jeremy, though he felt strangely guilty that he clearly wasn’t missing him as much as Michael missed his parents. Then again, his dad wasn’t so...nurturing. Goofing around with him over the phone every few days was almost like being home again. Plus, he had some experience with missing people. But Michael...he probably hadn’t felt anything like this before. “I was kinda more worried about him, to be honest. I wasn’t sure how he’d handle it -- empty nest, and all that. But, uh, he seems alright, so far?” Jeremy shrugged. “And we text almost every day, which helps.”

Michael hummed thoughtfully. With his head resting on the mattress, his glasses had gone slightly askew, and Jeremy had the strange urge to reach out and straighten them. “I thought about calling them, but I think hearing their voices would make it worse.”

“Yeah,” said Jeremy. “I get that. Especially right now.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, well. I don’t know about you, but for me, nights are always the hardest when you’re, you know. Missing somebody.” He gave an awkward sort of half-smile. “Which just makes me really glad I have you around for company.”

“Yeah,” said Michael softly. His hand found Jeremy’s where it rested against the bedspread between them, and he wove their fingers together. “Me too. I’d be-- I’d be really lonely, otherwise.” He held Jeremy’s gaze for a few moments, then sighed. “Ugh, it’s just -- I don’t think it really hit me until a few days ago, y’know? That we’re in college.” He laughed, soft but bitter. “You’d think move-in would’ve tipped me off, but. It didn’t seem real. But now it’s setting in and it’s...I don’t know.” His hand tightened around Jeremy’s. “…it’s scary.”

“It is.” Jeremy squeezed back, doing his best not to think about his sweaty palms, because if he acknowledged them they would only get worse. “But hey, we’re doing pretty damn well, aren’t we? Haven’t slept through any classes yet. Made a few new friends. Pigged out in the dining hall. It’s a pretty good start, dude.”

“Yeah,” said Michael with a wry grin. But Jeremy could tell he was faking it -- his face was still tight with fear, eyes wide and a little lost.

“My dad told me something that helped, actually,” Jeremy tried. “He said, ‘Jeremy...’” He put on his best impression of his father, and Michael snorted. “This is only as big a change as you want it to be. You can call twice a day, or twice a week, or twice a month. You can come home every weekend, or every other, or just on holidays.” He found himself slipping back into his regular voice. “You could throw yourself into the college life, or you could hang on to home, or you could do something in between.” He forced himself to look away from their joined hands and meet Michael’s eyes. “There’s no right way to do it. And if you hate it, you come home, and we’ll figure something out. But give it a month, kiddo, and I’ve got a feeling you’re gonna love it.”

Michael’s eyebrows drew together as he considered this. He took a deep breath in, and some of the tension in his face disappeared. His breath tickled Jeremy’s cheek on the exhale.

“Two things,” Michael said, at length.

“Mm.”

“Number one: don’t call me kiddo. That’s super weird.”

Jeremy fought to keep a straight face. “Noted.”

“Number two: damn. That’s some straight truth juice your dad is dropping.”

“Isn’t it? It really takes the pressure off of this whole...transition thing.”

“It does,” Michael agreed. He pressed his lips together. “Still miss my moms, though.”

Jeremy nodded. “Yeah. I know. I think that’ll get easier with time.” He stroked a thumb absently over Michael’s palm. “But I’m sorry you’re hurting now. That’s, uh.” He grinned, wide and dorky. “That’s rough, buddy.”

Michael got halfway through a dramatic eyeroll before pulling his hand away from Jeremy’s and fixing him with a death stare. “You did  _not_ just “that’s rough, buddy” me.”

Jeremy was still smirking. “I 100% did.”

“Get out of my bed.”

“No,” Jeremy told him, latching onto him with an arm and a leg.

Michael struggled to free himself. “No, get off, I’m disowning you.”

“Nope,” Jeremy replied, popping the ‘p.’

After a brief struggle, Michael gave in. “Fine,” he relented, but there was a glint in his eye. “But it’s time for bed.” And in one fluid motion, he yanked the blankets up to his neck, covering Jeremy where he was wrapped around his middle.

“Gah!” Jeremy exclaimed. “What the gunk, Michael?”

Michael laughed, fighting valiantly to keep Jeremy’s head from breaking free of the comforter. “You get to stay there and suffocate, that’s your punishment,” he explained, but Jeremy had already wriggled up the length of Michael’s body. He emerged from beneath the covers, gasping dramatically.

“I’m too powerful! No prison can hold me!” he cried, and Michael giggled.

“Okay, o mighty one,” Michael said dubiously. “But seriously, man, we should probably sleep.”

But Jeremy didn’t really feel like going to his own bed, and he could tell from Michael’s voice that he was reluctant to call it a night, too. Wordlessly, and before he could overthink it, he slid down a few inches and tucked his head against Michael’s chest, wrapping an arm around him for good measure.

“Uh, Jerm?” Michael asked, sounding disarmed. “Whaaat’re you doing?”

Jeremy felt his face heating up, which only made him want to bury it deeper in Michael’s faded pajama shirt. “I don’t know,” he said truthfully. “I figured it’d be….less lonely?”

Michael seemed to consider this for a moment. “...okay.”

“Y-yeah?”

“Yeah,” said Michael. Jeremy could feel the rumble of his voice in his chest. “Wait, you don’t have class until 9 tomorrow, right?”

“Yeah,” said Jeremy, jaw cracking open on a yawn.

“Good,” Michael replied, reaching up to set his alarm. “Don’t want you waking me up for an 8 am. I’m not the idiot who signed up for that shit.”

“Hey. Hey, listen, it’s still not as early as high school was.”

“Uh-huh. Try to tell me you’re not jealous when you leave for the day and I’m still snoozing.”

He had a point. “Try to tell me  _you’re_  not jealous when I’m done for the day at 1 and you’ve still got class.”

Michael hummed, thinking. “It’s a jealously I can live with,” he decided. “Now go to sleep.”

That sounded like a good idea. He watched as Michael slid his arm out from between them and wrapped it tentatively around his waist. Jeremy felt himself melt into the embrace. He was grateful that they were both already in pajamas. Michael was so warm. Everything was so soft. Holy shit, cuddling was vastly underrated. Wait, was this cuddling? Was there a different word for platonic cuddling?  _Was_  this platonic--

“And Jeremy?”

Jeremy snapped out of his reverie. “Yeah?”

“Thank you,” said Michael quietly, and Jeremy knew it wasn’t just for the cuddling.

“Any time,” he said happily. “‘Night, Michael.”

“‘Night Jerm.”

Jeremy shuffled closer, giving in to the urge to tangle their legs together. Michael said nothing -- just shifted his legs to accommodate Jeremy’s, smiling faintly. This was gonna be awkward as hell come morning, but for now, they were both glad for the company.

**Author's Note:**

> so yeah i was a Homesick Mess my freshman year of college,, it's a Big Change and i wanted to see how the boys would handle it!! I think when you're told your whole life that you're gonna be cool in college, it's super hard to process the fact that college is also,, harder!! scarier!! and Away From Home!! and so excuse me while i project all that onto the boys!! oh also "gunk" as a curse word is from the high school version of heathers and is in here specifically to spite @mellmichael.tumblr.com >:)c
> 
> anyway when they wake up it's either to smash the mf alarm clock and skip some classes or to go deal with awkward boners,, or maybe both. who knows??


End file.
